Tuesday, July 31, 2012


After a 6-parter, it's time to take a little break...Not by taking a week off, of course, but by giving you something completely different!  If this food product existed, this is definitely how I would market it.

Introducing our newest specialty product:

Start your day the right way.  The only way.  The best way.

Our ingredients come from the freshest organic farms in the world.  In the world.  Freshest.  Farms.

Satisfy your stomach and your mind.  Know that you are feeding your body, soul, and intellect with our delectable creations.

You don’t eat our food; you become one with our food.

Peace of mind, peace of stomach.

Perfection only comes in one flavor:  ours.

Highfalutin is better than high cholesterol.

Eat with every repast, and you will never be disappointed by your meal’s climax.

Knowledge is obtained via the mouth.  Eat our food and quench your intellectual thirst.

You will need to develop a sixth sense to fully appreciate what you are eating. 

At the brink of human comprehension lies one thing:  our food.

Faster.  Stronger.  Better.  No, this is not you after eating our food, this is just our food.

So much better than anything else you’ve ever tasted, it can hardly be called food.

200 words cannot begin to describe your eating experience, but it will have to suffice.

Introducing Bath-Os, the newest breakfast cereal to hit the supermarkets.  Now in Family and Bachelor sizes.

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