Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Bees vs. Cows

Here's another one of those rhyming, rhythmic poems you love so much!  I have no idea how the inspiration for this one came to me, but I made it anyway.  I think it's great when nonsense can be give structure and form.  Then it seems like it makes perfect sense, until you reflect back on it and realize that it actually is nonsense.  Maybe that'll happen to you after you read this.  Maybe it won't.  Only one way to find out.

This story starts in year fourteen oh-two,
When bees had to fight the cows that go moo.
The war began when cows stole some honey—
King Cow just wanted it for the money.
The bees decided to make the first strike,
But first they needed a very strong dike.
Before too long all the bees left the hive.
When in the pasture they took a nosedive.
The first cow was hit and it tumbled down,
Its neighbor turned its head and gave a frown.
“Moo!” it shouted to alert all the cows,
Still one-by-one the cattle took their bows.
Shortly thereafter the war was full blown,
With monarchs still sitting in their own throne.
The bees had the stinger, cows had the udder:
One could prick, and the other made butter.
How could this silly battle ever stop?
The cows’ king had made too large of a flop.
The bee and cow diplomats had to meet
To convince the other:  concede defeat.
The discussions ended without success;
This was not a surprise as you could guess.
The bees continued with their ceaseless stings,
And cows bombarded them with their milk slings.
The Bee Queen was too fed up with this fight,
She left her throne in the night and took flight.
The queenless bees didn’t have a ruler,
So the cows suddenly felt much cooler:
They thought they would win and almost did so,
If not for one mistake against their foe.
The cows’ squirted milk was left in the sun:
It began to rot and smell—they were done.
A cow incapacitated by stench
And a bee with no queen can’t be a mensch.
They would have kept fighting if not for this:
Their exhaustion trapped them like an abyss.
At the end of the war it was a draw,
And the farmers who watched were left in awe.
The bees returned to their comfy old hive
Where they had honey to help them all thrive.
All the cows stayed in their warm, green paddock,
Which protected others from their havoc.
The Bee and Cow War had now been ended,
The animals’ friendship was all mended.

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