Tuesday, May 1, 2012


This post (another member of the "other nonsense" category of this blog) is exactly what the title makes it out to be.  But with my own linguistic twist.  Let the insight begin!

            Time.  It keeps on going.  On and on.  And on and on.  It keeps going past that point, but it just gets boring.  Trust me.  It’s worse than watching something grow, like
            Grass.  It seems to be dead and brown more than alive and green.  Or dead and green.  That last option happens the least.  Probably for a good reason.  Or so they say.  Who says?  The
            Man.  Rulers of the earth.  Masters of the skies.  Mediocre swimmers.  Kings of conceit.  Emperors of ego.  Principals of pride.  Handy with a
            Thesaurus.  Not a dinosaur, but a book.  But it is a practical tool for discovering alternative names for the ancient reptiles.  The stegosaurus didn’t use one.  Neither did the triceratops.  Actually, they probably didn’t have much use for nicknames, what with their lack of language.  The poor
            Beasts.  A word that strikes fear into all non-beasts.  What are these beings that are not bestial?  Anything lacking sharp incisors, hideous fur markings, and yellowed eyeballs.  The rest are
            Monsters.  Different than beasts.  These can have wings, breathe fire, or live in swamps.  Like beasts, they also have lots of teeth, which can be confusing when trying to differentiate the two.  The only person that can tell beasts from monsters solely based on denticles is an
            Orthodontist.  The scarier first cousin once removed of the dentist.  Their fascination with teeth knows no bounds.  They poke, prod, and produce wonderful results, so we really can’t complain.  Unfortunately.  Because people love grumbling.  That is America’s true pastime, not
            Baseball.  One of the many compound word sports.  It’s amazing what you can do with a ball and a random object.  With just these two simple things, you can play any team game that exists or is yet to be conceived.  That’s a lot of possibilities.  This means there’s no reason why anyone should be
            Bored.  Hopefully you aren’t.  But if you are, don’t tell me; I have fragile emotions.  It’s true, stop doubting me.  And please don’t hurl insults at me or in my general direction.  It’s akin to throwing stones at a glass
            House.  A place of living, comfort, family, and food.  The latter is very important.  You can probably go without the first three, but without nourishment, you would surely die.  I apologize for the morbidity, but it’s the sad truth.  Well, maybe it’s not so sad, since food is so tasty.  For its deliciousness, people sure complain a lot, like about
            Broccoli.  A green vegetable full of healthy nutrients packed into a satisfying crunch.  Perhaps people don’t like it because it’s not marketed right.  It’s always displayed as the last thing on the plate, so it’s no wonder people leave it as scraps for the dogs.  At least canines are getting their Vitamin
            C.  Cats climb carefully onto curbs.  Crawling currently continues ‘cause canines catch cats.  Capturing corrupts confidence like cakes cram
            Calories.  Primarily an energy and heat measurement, separate from food.  But now it’s inseparable from thoughts about weight.  People obsess over these insignificant numbers.  Hopefully there’s a way for all this negative thought to

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