Introduction to the
Document
In
one of the most exciting historical discoveries of the century, archivists have
found a long-lost document ghostwritten by Declaration of Independence signer
Button Gwinnett for the head of the United States fruit industry to use as his
annual address. The document had
been put aside in the collections for decades because Gwinnett’s name was not
attached to the essay, but recent research has confirmed its authorial
origins. It is certainly one of
the most insightful documents written by a Founding Father, ahead of its time
in concept and prose. It is a
profound extended metaphor for peaceful coexistence among nations and
ethnicities of the world. We now
present this rare find for the first time in its unedited form.
Apples and Oranges: A Peace Proposal
Ghostwritten by Button Gwinnett
Apples
and oranges have had an ongoing war for their entire existence. They are always unsuccessfully compared
to one another, which only highlights their differences. However, this mode of living in strife does
not need to be set in stone. Nay,
the fruits can coexist peacefully.
If a few basic guidelines are followed, peace will come within short
course.
Firstly,
we must stop comparing apples to oranges.
They are separate but equal, different but more similar than we may
initially surmise. Comparing and
contrasting their features only serves to distance the two fruits, thus
building hostility. With hostility
comes fear, and fear brings more hatred.
It is a vicious cycle, one not conducive to healthy growth. By ceasing this unproductive habit, we
will promote the unity of apples and oranges.
Second,
we should not judge either fruit by the color of their skin. Think: both start off green, as unripe fruits. As they grow and develop, they each
take their own path, leading to a final hue destination. Even within the apple and orange
categories, there are variations.
Taste, size, and texture all make each and every individual fruit
unique. When every fruit is
different, no fruit can be better.
Thirdly,
people must adhere by the tenet, “seeds do not equate to superiority.” For too long the practice of counting
seeds has flourished. The
unfounded belief that quantity of seeds indicates dominance only brings unbridled
friction. We must nip this
conviction in both the proverbial and physical bud. Yes, the inside is more important than what we see on the
outside, but we must remember that quantity does not mean quality.
By
adhering to this proposed mindset, as a united public we can halt the divisive
antagonism between apples and oranges.
This will not only improve the fruits’ lives, but will also better ours. Overlook any differences and search for
similarities. After all, in the
long run, they are all just sugary, juicy, tasty victuals headed for our
stomachs.
Remember,
buy locally grown produce and support your countrymen.
Addendum to the
Introduction
On
second thought, maybe Button Gwinnett was just writing about fruit.
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