Introduction to the Document
In one of the most exciting historical discoveries of the century, archivists have found a long-lost document ghostwritten by Declaration of Independence signer Button Gwinnett for the head of the United States fruit industry to use as his annual address. The document had been put aside in the collections for decades because Gwinnett’s name was not attached to the essay, but recent research has confirmed its authorial origins. It is certainly one of the most insightful documents written by a Founding Father, ahead of its time in concept and prose. It is a profound extended metaphor for peaceful coexistence among nations and ethnicities of the world. We now present this rare find for the first time in its unedited form.
Apples and Oranges: A Peace Proposal
Ghostwritten by Button Gwinnett
Apples and oranges have had an ongoing war for their entire existence. They are always unsuccessfully compared to one another, which only highlights their differences. However, this mode of living in strife does not need to be set in stone. Nay, the fruits can coexist peacefully. If a few basic guidelines are followed, peace will come within short course.
Firstly, we must stop comparing apples to oranges. They are separate but equal, different but more similar than we may initially surmise. Comparing and contrasting their features only serves to distance the two fruits, thus building hostility. With hostility comes fear, and fear brings more hatred. It is a vicious cycle, one not conducive to healthy growth. By ceasing this unproductive habit, we will promote the unity of apples and oranges.
Second, we should not judge either fruit by the color of their skin. Think: both start off green, as unripe fruits. As they grow and develop, they each take their own path, leading to a final hue destination. Even within the apple and orange categories, there are variations. Taste, size, and texture all make each and every individual fruit unique. When every fruit is different, no fruit can be better.
Thirdly, people must adhere by the tenet, “seeds do not equate to superiority.” For too long the practice of counting seeds has flourished. The unfounded belief that quantity of seeds indicates dominance only brings unbridled friction. We must nip this conviction in both the proverbial and physical bud. Yes, the inside is more important than what we see on the outside, but we must remember that quantity does not mean quality.
By adhering to this proposed mindset, as a united public we can halt the divisive antagonism between apples and oranges. This will not only improve the fruits’ lives, but will also better ours. Overlook any differences and search for similarities. After all, in the long run, they are all just sugary, juicy, tasty victuals headed for our stomachs.
Remember, buy locally grown produce and support your countrymen.
Addendum to the Introduction
On second thought, maybe Button Gwinnett was just writing about fruit.