The apogee of effigies
Was sculpted by Burt McTinken.
It depicted the likeness of
President Abraham Lincoln.
He made it as a commission
To rival the statues of kings.
The figure was made of three items:
Sugar cookies, tree bark, and strings.
Together these ingredients
Looked just like our great president.
The resemblance was so precise
It was a U.S. resident.
In fact, so many thought it real
That Burt had it run for office.
The statue won the election
And was approved by the caucus.
Now the United States had an
Inanimate Lincoln as pres,
With his signature tall top hat,
Not a silly looking red fez.
Maybe more will get done with a
Leader who can’t speak or argue;
Congress can’t disagree with him
Since he’s just a silent statue.
Yet still this Lincoln effigy
Is a quite effective ruler:
While being fake he is so smart
And manages to be cooler.
We all must remember that
The figure’s not really Lincoln;
What he is is McTinken’s goal
To create a freedom beacon.
Well succeed he did at making
An identical look-alike.
Now Lincoln will be here to stay,
We can’t tell him, “Go take a hike.”
Burt McTinken should receive laud:
He made the perfect effigy.
The mock pres of this fair country
Should take him as a prodigy.