Phrasing

This post, another contender for the "miscellaneous" category, contains a delectable sampler of assorted syllepses, zeugmas, and other phrases.  If you find one you like, you can order it as a full course.  Bon appetite!

All’s fair in love and Monopoly.

I enjoy eating pizza with mushrooms and friends.

Calendars are confusing:  they show your dates on dates.

Last night, Jon saw a movie and a way to escape from prison.

When I passed the exam I felt pride and indigestion.

It’s too dark to make light of the situation.

Tom was attacked yesterday by bees and hit men.

Yesterday, Harold tied his shoes and the baseball game.

I caught a cough while running through the trough, though I thought nothing of it.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of the earth?

In the universe your neighbors are all aliens, much like in the suburbs.

Creativity spawns ideas and demons.

I’d like to buy the world a Coke, but that would cost too much money.

His statement was punctuated by silence and a period.

Buster blocked the path while watching a blockbuster.

If one train left Boston and 9:00 am, and one train left Seattle at 9:30 am, they never passed each other because their routes didn’t intersect.

Two out of three’s not bad if you don’t care about winning.

She shivered because of a creepy thought and the icebox she was trapped in.

Real estate is all about location, unless it’s about money, unless it’s about the heated swimming pool in the backyard that has a hot tub added on with disco lights that turn on at night.

Storyscreaming is often more effective than storytelling to get people’s attention.