Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Fables for the 21st Century and Beyond: The Dog and Its Reflection

It's a new year, so what better time than now to learn another lesson?  That means it's time for another parable for this era!  I hope you enjoy (and listen.  And learn.).

            One day, a Dog was eating at a café when he spotted something fascinating.  There was a smartphone sitting unattended on the table next to him.  But it wasn’t just any ordinary smartphone, it was the new, unreleased model.  The Dog ambled over, picked it up in his mouth, and furtively brought it back to his seat.
            As he looked it over, he began drooling over the amazing innovative features.  That, and there was a juicy steak on his plate.  This phone was complete with a seven inch foldable screen, thought controlled interface, a hologram projector, and perhaps most impressively, front and rear facing 4D (this newest dimension comes from smell) cameras.
            “Just think,” he thought.  “I’m the only animal in the world with this kind of technology.  And that means,” he smiled sneakily, “that I can sell this to some techies for a hefty sum.  But in the meantime, I can enjoy taking videos of myself and being able to smell it afterwards.”
            The Dog took his stolen smartphone and left the café.  He was so enthralled with the device that he even forgot to eat his steak.  He began playing with the gadget, soaking in everything that it could do (which was literally everything).  Just after he poured himself a cup of coffee out of the Java app, he decided it was time to test the best feature:  the 4D cameras.
            He turned on the front facing camera, and an amazingly clear video of the Dog appeared on the screen.  In fact, the picture looked so realistic that the Dog thought he was staring at another dog.  And that that dog has an even newer model of the smartphone.  In jealousy, the Dog tried grabbing the other phone, only to drop the real one.  The Dog was startled, so he accidently left the stolen phone on the ground with the video camera still on.
            Like all smartphones, the one the Dog stole had a built-in GPS that constantly recorded location data.  All of this information was accessible to the phone manufacturer, even despite lawsuits over claims that this qualified as an invasion of privacy.  Lucky for the phone companies, they won these suits on the fact that they could help solve crimes.  This detail came into play again as they tracked down the Dog who stole their phone.
            Since the Dog had left the cameras on, they were still transmitting data to the phone company, allowing them to easily find their missing valuable phone.  Then, since the camera had recorded the Dog in 4D, they captured his scent and used a hunting dog to follow the thief’s trail all the way back to his home.  They arrived at the Dog’s home, busted through the door, and arrested him for stealing private property, bringing him to justice.
            Moral of the story:  Don’t trust technology.

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