Desperation and Potatoes

I apologize, but I am posting my first non-fiction story to this blog. No made up creatures. No rhymes. Just potatoes. Don't worry too much though; it's still over the top, slightly exaggerated, and sure to tickle your funny bones into submission. Here it is, published by North by Northwestern!

Cake

What? Another story, and so quickly, too? That's right, good readers. I'm on a roll! (No promise it will last.) So slice yourself a piece of Cake (click on "Gluttony") and dig in! (All apologies for the horrible metaphor.)

The Origin of the Couch Potato

Time for another new (re)posting! Up on North by Northwestern is a brand new evolutionary account of the ascent of the Couch Potato. Hint:  it's actually a potato. Enjoy!

The Eighth Dwarf

What's this?  A new story?  That's right!  Check out my latest pun-laden, semi-moralistic fairy tale recreation on North by Northwestern's site, or right here.  I hope you enjoy!

The End

Today marks the end of an era.  For 100 weeks straight, I have made a new blog post.  That's 100 new stories/poems/absurd linguistic gimmicks.  I've decided that I'm going to take myself off a set schedule and go on a mini-hiatus.  That doesn't mean the blog is over; I just won't be posting every week.  But keep checking back--you never know when there will be a new tale waiting for you.  Thanks for reading these past 100 weeks, and enjoy this concluding poem!

Count Up

This is my 99th week and 99th post.  Therefore, this post is gearing up for a very special post (and announcement) next week.  But in the meantime, please enjoy my numerical musings.

The Third Dimension

3-D movies are all the craze.  No matter your opinion on the medium, you can't deny the fact that they're rampaging across our screens.  But 3-D books?  That's another matter.

Phrasing

This post, another contender for the "miscellaneous" category, contains a delectable sampler of assorted syllepses, zeugmas, and other phrases.  If you find one you like, you can order it as a full course.  Bon appetite!

The Physics of Jazz

Jazz in space.  That's the three word summary of this exploratory piece.  To see the full version, read on!

Horrific Folktales of the Turkeys: Hansel and Gobble

It's that time again:  time for another harrowing tale with our favorite turkey protagonists.  You might think this turkey tale sounds familiar, but you'll be surprised.  There's more to this fowl species's folklore than you may think.  So sit back (but keep a straight posture), relax (but not too much), and enjoy (no restrictions on this)!

The Apogee of Effigies

It's time to post another ode to Abraham Lincoln (for my first, see his escapades with the Squid).  Really, it's a meta-ode, since this is a poem about someone else's appreciation of the great president.  So without further ado, some poetry.

Littering Litter

There's no better way to start off a new year than with a poem based around a pun title.  Because puns are the best.  Enough said.